Saving our friendship
by mrstrekkiemonster
Summary: Set after Double Blind.  Gillian finds a way to solve her problems with Cal.


** I just want to say I'm gutted about the cancellation. How could they do this? :- ( Ok so now it's up to us to keep it going. Please keep reading and writing new stories. There are so many possibilities and so many talented writers out there that we can keep Lie To Me alive!**

**Set after Double Blind. **

Banging on someone else's door gone midnight was very unlike Gillian Foster. But here she was. She had good reason. She had been driven to it. She'd been pushed too far. After her conversation with Cal following the museum heist in which he hadn't really explained anything at all, she had gone home to think. The more she thought, the angrier she got. Seven plus years of loyalty and friendship and this was how he treated her. Well enough was enough. She was sick and tired of letting him walk all over her and she was here to do something about it.

The door swung open and there stood Cal looking pleased but surprised to see her.

He quickly tried to cover his delight. "Bit late for a social call isn't it Foster?"

"We need to talk." She said pushing past him and into his home.

Cal watched her and could see the imminent confrontation. He knew he'd been an idiot but he didn't feel like trying to justify himself.

"Not now eh?" he tried.

"When?" she demanded. "Tomorrow? Next week? Never? No more Cal. I've had enough. Now you can choose to stay silent but I can't anymore so you **will** listen. You cannot continue to treat me this way. Shutting me out, taking out your anger on me. I'm sorry if you feel I overstepped the mark by freezing our bank accounts but that is your problem, not mine. I am trying to save **our** business. I will not let your behaviour ruin everything those people have worked so hard for, that **you** have worked so hard for. Now the psychologist in me says you're emotionally damaged. That you're afraid of success so you try your hardest to ruin it, like you're trying to ruin our relationship. The psychologist can make allowances for that, but the friend in me is pissed off. The friend who has stood by you through everything, I deserve better than that. I will not let you push me away. I am not a woman you can use and discard because you believe that one day I'll leave because that's what women do, right? Not me and I'm here to prove it. You use women, get what you need from them and leave them before they can leave you. No emotional attachment just sex and that's the problem. Sex. We need to have sex."

Cal's mouth dropped and his eyebrows shot into his hair. Was he dreaming? Gillian took a step closer until she was in his space. He could smell her perfume and feel the heat from her skin. No, he definitely wasn't dreaming.

"There has always been this tension between us." She continued. "So let's do this and get it out of our system so we can move on."

Cal stared at her unable to comprehend her offer. "Wha...I...uh..." was the best he could manage.

"We need this Cal, we need to clear things between us so we can move forward together. So I can forgive you and you can see that I'm not going anywhere."

Gillian put her hands on each side of his face, closing her eyes so he couldn't see how much she wanted this, she kissed him.

Oh god! Her lips were so soft and he wanted more than anything to kiss her back, but he couldn't. Gently he grabbed her arms and pushed her away.

"I can't." He muttered at the floor.

Gillian smiled. "It's just sex Cal. A onetime thing. Don't worry I'm not suggesting we get married or anything quite so serious. I'm not trying to trap you. "

He looked her in the eye. "I never thought you would. That's not the problem, it's..."

How would he explain this? How could he tell her that he wanted her as much as he did without scaring her?

"I can't see any other way can you?" she asked. "We need to get this tension out of our systems or it's going to tear us apart."

Cal could see the fear on her face and he knew she was right. Gillian was always right, not that he'd ever tell her that, but he trusted her and if she thought they could do this and still remain friends, who was he to argue?

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked

Gillian swallowed hard and nodded.

"Ok." He said.

Cal held out his hand and she took it. He led her through his home to his bedroom. Once inside they stared at the bed then each other awkwardly.

"How do you want to do this?" he asked the nerves he felt creeping into his voice.

Gillian tried to make light of the situation hoping to cover her anxiety . "You're the one who does this kind of thing. This should be second nature to you."

Cal took her hand in his and she looked at his face. "**This** is completely different to anything else." He said, the sincerity of his words written across his face.

Shyly she moved her lips to his gently grazing the corner of his mouth. Both felt a rush of anticipation coupled with apprehension. Both Gillian and Cal were surprised at how unsure of themselves each of them were given the closeness of their existing relationship. Time to enter new territory. Cal wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her fully on her mouth. It took seconds for this new aspect to feel completely natural and left them wanting more. Gillian deepened the kiss, running her tongue across Cal's lips. Capturing it, he savoured the feel of it before slipping his into her mouth. Her hands slid up his back and under his t shirt stroking his skin. His lips left hers and began to move down her neck. Desperately they began to remove clothes, Cal stopping to admire her lacy underwear. When she had imagined this situation on the drive over Gillian had thought of a brief tryst involving minimal contact. Now she was actually here she couldn't stop touching him if she had to. She cherished the feel of his skin aching to touch him everywhere at once. Cal moved them to the bed never taking his lips from her neck. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined doing what they were doing right now. He had always thought the things he had dreamed of doing with her would stay locked inside his brain. Fantasies do come true! His hands brushed over the pink lace of her bra and she sighed. Briefly his mind registered that his suspicions about what she wore under those dresses had been confirmed but that became a distant memory when he removed the top half and gazed at the beauty underneath. His attention quickly moved from her neck to her breasts causing her to moan softly. She dug her nails into his back from the intensity of the pleasure he was eliciting. His hand moved lower removing the lace barrier between them. He caressed and massaged until she cried out. His lips met hers and he kissed her until she recovered. After a minute or so Gillian became aware that although she was completely naked, Cal was not. Pushing him onto his back she went about remedying the situation. Starting with his mouth she made her way down his body with her lips. She bit on his neck and he groaned, so she did it again not caring if she left a mark. Kissing across his chest she moved lower until she reached her goal. In one swift movement she removed his underwear, fleetingly noticing that he hadn't been lying when he had said 'briefs never boxers.' Taking him in her hands she showered him with kisses before running her tongue up his length. He moaned loudly when she took him in her mouth sucking and licking. Squeezing his eyes shut he fought to maintain control but her talented tongue was making it impossible. Reluctantly he stopped her ministrations pulling her body flush with his. Reaching in the drawer next to the bed he pulled out a condom and she carefully helped him roll it on. Their eyes met as he entered her both gasping with pleasure. What was supposed to be sex quickly turned into making love as they moved together feeling the others ecstasy mixed with their own.

Afterwards, lying next to each other in his bed staring at the ceiling, they tried to sort through the jumble of thoughts. This was supposed to make them feel better. Did they feel better? Different, definitely, better, no. Something had changed. Were they sorry this had happened? Well it certainly hadn't saved their friendship, it had altered it, but to what?

Cal stole a quick glance at her. She was wrong. HA! For once in her life Gillian Foster had been wrong. He wanted to shout it, but he couldn't because now he would have to deal with the consequences. How could they go back to normal? How could he face her every day when he knew what it felt like to hold her? How could he look at her across the cube when he had felt himself inside of her, kissed her as she came? How could he look into those beautiful blue eyes and not betray the love he felt for her?

Gillian closed her eyes and breathed slowly. Ok she was a sensible intelligent woman. She knew sex altered a relationship but she had truly believed that they could get past it. Oh how wrong she had been. How could they continue to be around each other when she had kissed every inch of his naked body? When she had held him and looked into his eyes as he came? How could she gaze into those captivating hazel eyes and not give herself away? She would be unable to hide her love.

Damage control. He should find out what she thought and go from there. Gillian would know what to do. Although, she had gotten them into this situation in the first place, not that he hadn't been a willing participant. Cal smiled, partly because for once it hadn't been his reckless actions that were responsible for the mess they were in, but mostly because he was glad they had done it, even if it did blow up in his face.

She would just ask him outright. They were mature, consenting adults, so that would be the sensible thing to do. Except every time she tried, the words died on her lips. She was unable to speak. She couldn't put into words what had just happened. Of all of the ridiculous ideas she'd ever had, this came out top! Still she had no regrets, even if she couldn't bring herself to talk to him.

They stared at the ceiling a while longer both trying to get a grip on their feelings. Both trying to suppress the romantic ones and focus on the reason they had done this. To save their friendship.

"You ok?" he finally asked.

"Mmhmm. You?"

"Yeah, great."

Another awkward silence followed, the frustration hanging heavy over them.

"Do you feel different?" he asked.

Gillian turned to face him intrigued by the tone of his question.

"Do you?" she asked

Cal smiled at her deflection.

"It's hard to say." He answered.

They fell back into the silence. Suddenly Gillian sat up in bed, hugging her knees to her chest.

"Let's face it." She said. "It's made things worse. We can barely look at each other much less talk to each other." She swung her legs over the side of the bed. "I should go."

"Don't." The word flew from Cal's lips in a panic.

"Our friendship is ruined..." she began.

Cal nodded. "Completely." He agreed. "But if you leave now we'll never know if we can be more than friends."

Gillian turned back to him. "When did you become so candid?"

"About 10 seconds after you kissed me." Despite herself Gillian gave a small smile and he saw a flicker of the way she used to look at him. He moved to sit next to her. "You've ruined more than our friendship Gill. You've ruined me. You can't expect me to go back to normal after tonight."

"What do you want to do?" she asked daring to look at him.

Cal saw the hope in her eyes and knew he had two choices. He could choose words that he could hide behind, words that didn't really mean anything or he could tell her the truth and tell her everything.

"I want to kiss you..." he began "...but I won't..."

He saw the hope in her eyes die and her automatic defences come up. It broke his heart. This strong, beautiful woman had so much hurt in her life, part of which was caused by Cal himself, but that hurt gave him the courage to carry on, to finish what he had been about to say.

"...Not yet, because I need to tell you something. I'm sorry. You know why I am the way I am. You know better than I do. I take stupid risks, do reckless things because I had nothing to lose. Tonight changed that. You once told me I was the one who took unnecessary risks. Do you remember what I said to you?"

"Not when it comes to me." She answered in a voice barely above a whisper.

"I couldn't risk losing you so I hid behind my grouchy personality."

"Why didn't you say any of this to me?" she asked.

"It's not easy for me to tell my best friend that I'm in love with her."

Gillian's eyes widened. Cal smiled at the expression on her face.

"So we're not friends anymore?" she asked.

"Well that depends on you luv. You know how I feel now. Question is what do you want to do?"

"You can't tell?"

"You always were a hard read darlin'"

Gillian could see Cal was nervous.

"When I came over here tonight I was afraid I was losing you." She said. "I was willing to do anything to keep us together but I never imagined it would change everything. I don't want to go back to friends either. How can you not see I love you?"

Cal grinned. Gillian moved her head closer to his and looked into his eyes. He saw her pupils darken and a small smile play across her lips.

"How about now?" she asked. "Now do you see?"

Cal's smile widened. He studied her face and pretended to be puzzled.

"I don't know. Like I said, you're a hard read. Maybe you'll have to convince me."

He had barely finished his sentence when her lips were on his in a kiss that literally took his breath away. Breaking apart they rested their foreheads together.

"Convinced?"

He shook his head. "No I think it may take a lifetime for you to fully persuade me."

She smiled at the thought. "Ok, but you may have to do a little persuading of your own."

"Anytime." He said pulling her back onto the bed. "Let's start right now."


End file.
